Ponderous Simplicity

In a book, the ending can make or break how I feel about the story. No matter how much I enjoyed the last several hundred pages, the end can ruin the entire thing. And if it is a really good book, movie, speaker, or activity I don't actually want the end to come.

On the other hand, if I'm not enjoying the book, movie, speaker, presentation, etc. I long for a quick ending, which of course never seems to come fast enough.

Sometimes I'm ambivalent about an ending - for example, back in the day when I served as RS president in the BYU singles ward I was attending, I had mixed feelings when I was released. Part of me was happy, part of me was sad - I would miss it but I also wouldn't.

This is how I feel about a pretty major decision I've made that has brought about an end to something I've done for the last few years. When I made the decision to start grad school a couple of years ago, I began to look for volunteer opportunities because "everyone" says that looks great on your CV or resume. I looked at a lot of different opportunities and applied for several. Thinking back now, I'm not even sure why I actually picked the place I eventually started volunteering for. It wasn't a cause I had given a ton of thought but somehow it was the one that worked out.

So for the last few years I've volunteered/worked for The Center for Women and Children in Crisis, which provides support and resources for victims of domestic violence and rape/sexual assault. Not your typical "feel good" type of place to spend time at. I started as a volunteer, volunteering just one day a week for 2 hours. Somehow as the months passed I became the volunteer coordinator, handling all of the volunteer responsibilities and overseeing the volunteers as well as teaching a weekly psycho-educational class on domestic violence and even helping with a children's group for a time.

Some times it was hard - you don't hear very nice things when working with those that have experienced domestic violence or rape/sexual assault. But I wouldn't change the experience for anything. I often feel as if I learned and grew more than any of the people I interacted with, helped or worked with.

But as of Tuesday of this week, I handed over all of the responsibilities I've had and beyond helping with a final volunteer training in September, I've finished my time at The Center for Women and Children in Crisis. And it is a little bittersweet - and it feels a little strange. I don't think it has sunk in all the way yet. I will miss the challenge and also the wonderful people that I got to work with and interact with.

One of the hardest parts about it is that I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be filling my time with instead. For those of you that know me, you know I have a hard time not being busy most of the time. Relaxing sometimes makes me feel lazy. Perhaps the Lord is trying to tell me something? :P

In other news - I'm excited to be moving in a few weeks - ok, I'm not excited for the actual moving part but excited for the new opportunities this move with bring. I've moved more this year than in the past 6 years combined and at this point I really question why I own so many books? :P Also, in SUPER exciting news, I'm going to Hawaii in November. I cannot say how excited I am and how much I'm looking forward to the trip. And November should be a great time to be in Hawaii!