Ponderous Simplicity

In all fairness I do have to say that the "menace to society" quote attributed to Brigham Young cannot actually be found anywhere and so he may not have even said it :P But even if it is one of the "Mormon Myths" I still find it funny, and being a LDS woman who is 31 and unmarried if that quote was real I imagine it would be applied to me in some way :P

Regardless, my YSA years have taught me ALOT and I wanted to share some of those things. So lets have a list - we all love lists, right? :P

#1 - People are more important than things
A few weeks ago in fast and testimony meeting my RS President actually said this and I realized how strongly I agreed with her and realized that my single years have helped me to really understand this. What brings us the most lasting happiness, helps us to learn and grow, and ultimately become more Christ-like is our interactions and how we treat other people. It isn't the activities we necessarily participate in (obviously activities we do can teach us things and activities we participate in can affect our ability to have the companionship of the spirit, etc.) but the interactions with people in those activities and as we try and decide how we will spend out time. And because everyone is different, every single person will push us and challenge us in different ways and can help us grow and become better.

#2 - Give people the benefit of the doubt
Elder Holland said it well - "Think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. Assume the good and doubt the bad." This has been a struggle for me - I'm a very black and white person so when I could see it wasn't for Reason 'A' it was just natural to assume it HAD to be for Reason 'B'. A good friend has helped me to be able to focus on the good and to give people the benefit of the doubt especially those I care about. In any relationship if I look for the bad I will find it - ALWAYS. You can always find what you are looking for. So now I say to myself - what do I know about this person? What are some of the happy times and times that show me this person cares and wouldn't be doing anything purposefully to be hurtful in anyway. Helps me not to jump to Reason 'B', which can I tell you has made things alot better. Just a caveat though - I worked with domestic violence for over 3 years, so in saying "look for the good" that never means to discount or ignore abusive behavior.

#3 - Everyone has hidden hurts and struggles with something that seems to much to bear
This has been a big one for me to really learn and understand. It is amazing how really struggling yourself makes you more aware that even though you don't see it or ever even talk about it with someone that EVERYONE has those things they've experienced that have stretched, hurt, and been the cause of many tears just like I have. Makes me want to be more kind to others, but also more available to reach out to others. I've also realized some people are REALLY good and putting on a front that everything is perfect. I in  no way criticize people that are able to do this - I say it because it was easy in the past to think that they had no problems and their life was easy. That is never the case - everyone has struggles and though their struggles may be something that comes easy to me, it doesn't mean it isn't a struggle to them.

#4 - When you hurt, don't be afraid to cry
Life isn't easy and sometimes it really hurts - I HATE to cry as much as anyone but I've realized how important crying is and that when I hurt it is a GOOD time to cry and helps me to feel better. And I've realized in general that I do value all the emotions that I'm able to experience even hurt and sadness because I've realized that if I hurt or am sad it means I've invested in someone or something and I think that is so important. Especially investing in people, which often is the source of alot of pain, is also one of the greatest sources of happiness. So don't be afraid to cry when life hurts!

#5 - The Lord never gives us more than we can bear
And last but not least I've learned this even though it has been a hard lesson. I pray to grow and become better - in fact this is something I pray for everyday. Sometimes I laugh at myself when I'm really struggling and think - "Why do I pray for that!?!" Life is SO hard. But I have learned so much in those times and years of struggle and everytime I've made it through with the Lord's help. I feel like I've been stretched and stretched and stretched until I'm going to break and have no more stretch but when the next pull comes, as I turn to the Lord and plead for His help, somehow there is just a little more stretch for that moment. And then when it is all done I can look back and see a different persepctive because of what I've experienced. Hilary Weeks did a song in her last album that sums this up perfectly -