Ponderous Simplicity

There has been a million posts. A thousand emotions. A hundred thoughts. And consequences that will reverberate for years to come.

I don't think I've ever done two posts so close together on the same topic. I occasionally beat a dead horse but usually dislike it immensely so I try hard to avoid it. But I still had some things to say. Some thoughts I hope others will consider.

There's been a lot of "bad peopling" going on since the LDS Church's announcement on the policy change for same gender marriages, partnerships and their children.

If you are FOR the policy change - you are a bad person. You are a hater. Homophobic. An ostrich with your head stuck in the sand. Unkind. Unloving. Non-empathetic.

If you are AGAINST the policy change - you are a bad person. You don't live the gospel. Follow the prophets. Have a testimony. Commandment breaker.

Good heavens. We are all alot of bad people!!

But not really. We are just people being people. Can we treat each other as such? Each at our own place in this world - trying to understand, trying to live, trying to love the best we know how. Here are some thoughts no matter where you fall in the spectrum of thought in regards to the policy change.

Agreement with the policy change does not mean you don't see the people it affects. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt your heart and you don't ache for those affected by it. It doesn't mean you hate others. It doesn't mean you don't want to know and understand how to reach out to anyone effected by the change (which let's be honest - we ALL are in some way). It doesn't mean you don't see the struggle others have and hate to see someone struggling so deeply.

Disagreement with the policy change doesn't mean you don't have a testimony of the gospel. It doesn't mean you don't have faith. It doesn't mean you don't want to understand and be understood.

No matter where you stand on the spectrum of feeling toward the policy change, you aren't a bad person. So can we please stop the finger pointing. The "you just don't understand because you _______" Claiming one side or the other loves people more or less.

We ALL want to be  understood. So wherever you fall on the spectrum - can you be open to reaching out? Can you listen to someone's feelings on the matter with genuine empathy and compassion knowing they are doing the best they can and living by what they know? And that it is a struggle for almost everyone for different reasons no matter what they think about the policy? And then be willing to share in return and ask for the same empathy and compassion?

Listen even when it is hard. Listen even when you disagree. And listening doesn't mean waiting to jump in to share YOUR thoughts as soon as the other person finishes speaking. Really listening means being willing to sit with someone no matter where they are at. Even if you disagree.

Imagine the difference in all our lives if we strive to do this? We want to help others during this time of confusion, anger, disappointment, fear?