In Which I Try to Figure Out My Life

By my ripe old age I had thought I would have my life figured out at this point. I would not only know "what I wanted to be when I grew up" but would BE there! I would make great plans, follow those plans and everything would work out nicely and neatly (can you tell I have a SLIGHT preference for order and control?). There has only been one small hiccup in my planning - that moment in my life when I decided that I would trust the Lord to direct my life, because hey, I'm SURE His plans must be the same as mine.

Insert hysterical laughing

Needless to say, none of my plans have come to fruition and I find myself looking at my life thinking, "What the...!!! THIS is not where I wanted to be!" Not only have things not ended up as I planned but even sometimes as I think I wanted at least at the time. But I guess this is why we have this wonderful thing called faith.

Anyway, just over a week ago I moved to a new place. It all happened in a whirlwind and I packed, moved, cleaned, and unpacked more quickly than I ever have. It was a crazy weekend. It seems when I'm like, "Ok Heavenly Father, I'm ready to go" He says, "Now hold on just a minute. It isn't time yet." Then when I actually have some patience and sit back to wait, He suddenly yells, "GO! GO! GO!"

I like change though (most of the time at least I tolerate it :P) and so I'm really enjoying my new place. It is a bit of a change from where I've been living for the past 2 1/2 years. It is a small 2 bedroom place and I only have one other roommate. So the difference in quietness and cleanliness make me REALLY happy! I'm also now in south Orem so only a few minutes from my work. My challenge now is to push myself to get involved in my new ward and meet new people (never something I love - I love people but don't love that initially effort it takes to meet new people and make friends).

Because things haven't worked out as planned and the goals I thought I would be working together aren't working out, I now have to set other goals in order to have something to work towards. The last several months I trained for a half marathon but now that I accomplished that goal I need something else!

So I'm going to share with you my next two goals - the first is to train for and complete a triathlon. The running and biking parts shouldn't be too difficult though doing them consecutively will be a challenge but my biggest challenge will be swimming! I have never really learned how to swim and as a friend told me while observing my "swimming" - "You look like you are drowning," I know the swimming part is going to take a bit of work. But I'm committed! So I'm looking for a swim coach and now working towards making this goal happen.

My other goal, which was suggested to my by an institute teacher I greatly admire, is to write my personal history. This one makes me laugh a little because I don't think my life interesting enough to record, but as she said - we've been commanded to do it! So for the "few" lucky people who actually read this blog, I intend to post my personal history here as I write it - hopefully to keep me motivated and it is just as easy to record something here.

So here's to the next two goals and having something to work towards, even if it wasn't what I planned!
Category: 0 comments

Writing This Post Is Like....

I love analogies - most often in the form of simile but not always. I haven't always know I loved analogies. In fact it was just this week I realized how much I love them and how often I use them. I love them mainly because when used appropriately, correctly, and with proper application they provide another dimension or way to look at, understand or compare something. I think I realized my fondness for them because in teaching the domestic violence class on Wednesday I used ALOT of analogies. I do this because each person's experience and level of understanding is different and so to make something clearer I can only do that by comparing it to something else. Maybe I've also been thinking about it more because I've been reading Jesus the Christ again and there is much discussion in there of parables and their application and uses and to me, a parable is just an extended analogy. Which means if Christ used them often they must be great teaching tools!

I give this whole explanation though, not because I am suggesting you run out and use analogies all the time, though that wouldn't be a bad idea. But rather as a preface to some insight I received this week in the form of an analogy! (Analogies are like opening a box of chocolates, biting into one, and finding a GOOD tasting filling inside!) Anyway, on Sunday during Fast and Testimony meeting I was pondering the things that were being said and also the current stage of my life. I feel like I'm in a waiting stage where the Lord has told me something is coming but I don't know what or when so I just have to wait on the Lord. This is not easy for me because I like to plan things, move forward with the plan, and get things done!! So as it were I chafe at the bit a little bit :D But during the meeting the following thought came to me -

My life is a puzzle always in the process of being put together. When I'm impatient it is like I'm grabbing one of those 10 piece puzzles and exclaiming - "Look, I know how this goes together can I just put it together already!?!" To which the Lord replies - "Well, you can if you want but I have this beautiful 1000 piece puzzle that has amazing detail and beauty that you can't find in that 10 piece puzzle, but it will take some time to put together and you won't be able to see the full picture until nearly the end. And in fact you won't even be able to clearly see the arranging of the pieces and how it is going to fit all together but I promise it will."

So I have to ask myself - do I want the 10 piece puzzle or the 1000 piece puzzle. I want the 1000 piece one of course!! So I continue to wait, praying that the Lord guides me so the pieces end up where  they need to, to all come together. It reminds me of what a wise Institute teacher said about the Prophet Joseph Smith and the whole Restoration. 100 of years before the events actually took place, things were happening in order to make it possible for the Restoration to take place. For example, this land being preserved and then later found, having it be a land of religious freedom, etc., etc. Who knew way back then that those things were vital parts in the piece of the puzzle to make the Restoration possible.

I also was thinking about the puzzle pieces because again while sitting in Sacrament meeting I could look back and see how for my half marathon training and race there had been many tender mercies from the Lord. But it wasn't until after the race that I could see how they all came together to illustrate the Lord was aware of me and things do fall into place once the pieces are in place. So while all of that happened rather quickly (a few months rather than a couple of years) it reminded me that things do fall into place when they are right. And that something as seemingly small as running a race, the Lord let me know He was there, is aware of me, and does bless me in things that are important to me.

Ultimately, I can take a small step back realizing that if I want the beauty of a 1000 piece puzzle I have to be willing to wait for it and trust that the Lord is doing and helping me do the arranging that will make it possible even if I can't see it!
Category: 0 comments