Ponderous Simplicity

I will not be bullied

I will not be silent

I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman. I believe that sexual relations outside of marriage are wrong. I believe there are right and wrong things in this world. Here is a great article that states concisely most of my thoughts on this. And I will continue to stand for my belief of how marriage should be defined. But I will also work for rights such as protection in housing and employment in all relationships.

And those that believe in a broader definition of marriage will continue to fight for that. We each must choose to stand for the beliefs that we have and I would hope each of us stand strong for what we believe. But fighting for what we believe should not ever entail hate or unkindness to anyone. We just need to

STOP IT

S..T..O..P space I...T

Right now my sphere of interaction isn't very big. This is a sad thing to me but currently how my life is. So I don't have many people I interact with on a daily basis where we talk about deep important issues that matter to each of us - some of which we would probably disagree on, both in principle and what is considered right or wrong.

But I want to tell you a bit of story to illustrate my point. I went to UVU to get my undergraduate degree. I loved going there and learned a lot. The biggest and most valuable thing I learned though was how not to feel threatened when someone had beliefs, thoughts and ideas different than my own. Two of the people I most respect in this world are former professors, neither LDS, with who I know we share very different beliefs in a lot of areas. We disagree about what is right or wrong probably in many things even in ways and things we do currently in our lives. But in their classes and since that time (I'm still in contact with both) that has never been a problem.

I remember a particular moment that was kind of the capstone to this learning for me. I was in my Philosophy of Feminism class. It was almost the end of the semester and I went to class on a particular day knowing we were going to be discussing The Family: A Proclamation to the World. I was super nervous and a little afraid of how I thought this class would go. What would be said against the proclamation or about deeply held beliefs I had come to gain for myself?

But the class was awesome and I left feeling amazed and energized.

How? Why?

Definitely not because everything said in the class supported the proclamation or my beliefs - in fact very little was said in support. But the professor created a space of discussion and understanding. A place each of us could express our beliefs and thoughts about it and not feel threatened when someone thought differently.

That class and these two professors both create spaces of understanding and respect. That is what we need in this world. Not name calling. Not unkindness towards those that are different, believe different and fight for what they believe.

So tell your story....tell your experience...but don't project that experience onto everyone else. I DESPISE stereotypes. STOP IT....if you had a bad experience with the LDS Church, or it wasn't your cup of tea, or you disagree with its teachings, that is great. Share what you believe. But don't call names or place your experience onto everyone else. Likewise if your belief is that marriage is between a man and a woman, or you feeling strongly about what is right or wrong, or you know someone who identifies as gay or lesbian treat them as people. People who are trying to live their life the best they can. Show love and kindness. Talk and laugh about things that matter to you and create that space of understanding and respect that you see some things differently.

Teach our children and those in our lives that a difference of belief isn't about hate. Do some people act hateful when confronted with different beliefs.

DEFINITELY

But that isn't because disagreement and belief that certain things are wrong inherently generates hate. It is because people allow themselves to be ruled by fear - fear of what they don't understand.

So teach our children and in our classrooms how to create that space of understanding and respect for a difference of belief. Teach them they will come in contact with people who are not kind for a variety of reasons but that doesn't lessen their worth.

Teach these things instead of teaching that those that believe differently are hateful simply because of a difference in belief. Otherwise as soon as someone declares a difference in belief almost automatically the thought is they must hate me. And that hurts - no one likes to feel hated.

But we can change the suicide rate and help the feelings of self hatred...but not by bullying everyone into the same beliefs. But by teaching how to create that space of understanding and respect.

I hope we can all strive to show love and kindness towards everyone - same beliefs or not. And all of us stand for the beliefs that we do have while being open to hearing what others believe.